SeinLanguage by Jerry Seinfeld

Author: Jerry Seinfeld
Genre: non-fiction (comedy)
ISBN: 9780553385731
Length: 180 pages
Year Published: 1993
Source: personal collection
Rating: 5/5
Challenges/ResolutionsPersonal Collection ResolutionNon-Fiction Resolution

Reason for Reading: Nick and I get to go see Jerry perform soon and I’m so excited! He’s one of my favorite comedians 🙂 Plus, I’ve had the book about a year, even if it’s older.

Summary: Essentially this is a compilation of some of Jerry’s bits.

My Thoughts: I really liked these bits 🙂 Some of them were those that Jerry began or ended episodes of Seinfeld with. But there were more than simply those. It would’ve been a pretty boring book to read if I’d already seen him perform all of the bits in it. There’s not a lot to say about this book, because of what it is. It’s probably a good thing that I’ve seen Jerry so much onSeinfeld, or I might not be able to pick up on the “timing, inflection, and attitude” as easily as I could 🙂

Some of My Favorite Bits:

I’ve always wanted to invite a woman up to my apartment for a nightcap then just giver her one of those little hats that flops over on the side. “That’s all. I just wanted to give you that. You can go now. If you want to go out next week, I’ll give you a short robe that matches.”


Don’t get me wrong, the wedding ceremony is a beautiful thing. The vows, the costumes. I think the idea behind the tuxedo is the woman’s point of view that “Men are all the same, we might as well dress them that way.”
That’s why, to me, a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful bride, and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women, because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.
That’s why the wedding vows isn’t, “Do you take Bill Simpson?”
It’s, “Do you take this man?” 🙂

Ironically, he actually did this bit! But it was the only bit from the book that he did…which isn’t a surprise since the book is almost 20 years old.


Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.


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